THE WEEKLY RIOT
Special MOTHER'S DAY Edition
May 9, 1999A few tributes to Mothers, a few inspirational passages, and of course, a few jokes...
For my friends that have lost their mothers and to my best friend that's about to, my heartfelt sympathies and the wish that you can rejoice in your memories today and not be sad...
I especially loved what Peter wrote below, as it is very similar to what I have told my mother many times no one teaches you a course in "How to be a Mother" and I know she did the best she could with what she had to work with. It is also something I have told my son and I hope he understands, as well...
I still remember every single moment of the day he was born and it seems like yesterday... then again, on some of the more trying days it used to seem like he should be at least 45 by now!!!
And to my mom (aka "Dr. Mom" and "The Mother Goddess"): I LOVE YOU!!!
"True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it."
Alexandre Dumas, "Camille", 1852
Mothers... we blame them for all our problems but we wouldn't be here without them. It was only later in my life that I realized that in this three dimensional movie called life, I chose my parents for, amongst other reasons, their limitations and shortcomings. That relationship or the lack thereof, was my initial programming which formed the basis of my eventual need for integration and search for self-discovery.
Many years and experiences later I realized mom did the best she could under the circumstances and with the tools she was given by her parents. I was fortunate I was able to heal and resolve our issues before she passed on several years ago. My mom might have been incapable of expressing love, but there is no doubt that she always did care about me as do all mothers in their own way. I am eternally grateful.
May your all have a wonderful Mother's Day. And if there is someone somewhere who still has not forgiven his/her mother for something in the past... please try to remember that she did the best she could under the circumstances... and you did choose her to be your mom for just that reason. Maybe its time for that telephone call or visit you have been putting off.
Peace, balance & harmony.
Sir Peter of Sedona
[Thanks to Peter CAUS Citizens Against UFO Secrecy ]
Your Mother is always with you
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street,
she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks,
she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter
And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home;
And she's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love and your first heartbreak,
and nothing on earth can separate you...
Not time, not space... not even death!
[Thanks to Ilmar Ilmar Saar's Mastery Domain ]
Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God: "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
"But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy."
"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy."
"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?"
"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"
"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
"Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:
"Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
"Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: Mommy."
[Thanks to Ilmar]
The Images Of A Mother
4 years of age: My Mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: My Mother doesn't really know quite *everything.*
14 years of age: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years of age: Mother? Oh, she's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age: That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years of age: Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years of age: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years of age: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age: I wish I could talk it over with Mom...
Free Mother's Day Gifts
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the
love you have for family and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple
"Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for
a lifetime, and may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red," "You did a super job"
or "That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a
kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say,
Hello or Thank You.
[Thanks to Peter]
What Moms Really Wants For Mother's Day
Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (i.e., backwash).
9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.
8. Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.
7. A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.
6. A full time cleaning person who looks like Brad Pitt
5. For my teenager to announce, "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"
4. A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.
3. To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.
2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me...!"
And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....
1. Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison
[Thanks to Ilmar
AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we tell them to.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...
RESPONSIBILITY: don't worry, it's highly unlikely your children will learn to use big words like these
MINE: the only word a child can remember in the toy store
GIMME: an indication that a child really likes something
I DON'T KNOW: proof that your children need a proper education
NOT ME, I DUNNO, WHOSIS: the name of the invisible child that you didn't know you had. This child breaks more household items, causes more messes, and more stress in your life than all the other children combined.
[Thanks to Ilmar]
A Birthday Gift To Grandson
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember...."
A very devout nun dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival, she is greeted with ceremony and honor and told she may immediately have any wish she chooses while her place is prepared for her.
She humbly and politely replies that she would like an audience with Holy Mary, if this is possible. Peter agrees on the spot and escorts her personally to a little door, hitherto unnoticed in the great vault of the firmament. He knocks softly. There's a murmured reply from within, and he opens the door and indicates to his guest to enter.
Within, sitting in a plain chair is a middle-aged Jewish woman in the garb of the first century knitting.
The nun sits reverently for some time at Mary's feet and finally gestures so as to ask a question. Mary looks up from her knitting and indicates it is OK to ask.
"Reverend Mother, please tell me, you were chosen from all women to be the mother of God. You are a simple Jewish woman, I know. But if you could, just give me an inkling of what it felt like when it happened when Jesus was born?"
With a distant look in her eyes, Mary replies,
"Vell, Ich vaist a Maydel...." ***
*** "Well, I wanted a girl..."